Our 2nd Attempt at Frozen Embryo Transfer

2018-08-15: It’s been a week since the Big Fat Negative (BFN) from the frozen embryo transfer (FET) results/pregnancy test. When I got the call from the fertility clinic, I was mostly expecting to hear “No, not this time”, since I did take a home pregnancy test the day before and the morning of, and I only got one line both times.

The decision to take a home pregnancy test wasn’t an easy one. On one hand, I really wanted to know if it was a positive result, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to see a negative result earlier than I had to… I loved having the feeling that this might be the one! Of course we would have to confirm 100% with the blood test, but even though the home pregnancy test came back negative, not pregnant, the box says 99% accurate… there was still that 1% chance that maybe it’s too early for the pee stick to tell but the clinic will still say, “Yes! Congratulations, you are pregnant! 10 more weeks of injections and vagina estrogen pills!”

Look how strong we are … in order to keep our embryo’s alive and continuing to develop into little human beings we have take a daily injection of progesterone oil in the butt muscle and take 1 pill every 8 hours (3 times a day) vaginally for another 10 weeks! Yes I said vaginally. And yes I would bring rubber gloves to work and every day at 2:20pm I would go to the bathroom, with my pills and rubber gloves, and I would have to stick one up there. Then return to my desk like nothing happened.

We are superheroes! Think about it…. this whole time (pre blood test), we don’t have any guarantee that it will work and we will be pregnant and have a baby in your arms nine months later. Nope! Nada. But we do it all anyways, out of the love in our hearts and hope for the 50/50 chance to grow our family with a little munchkin.

Alright, let me get back to what happened this time.

Our 2nd attempt at a frozen embryo transfer. Last try, I only used vaginal estrogen pills, 3x daily, 2mg pills. My lining didn’t get thick enough, so it was cancelled.

This time, the doctor put me on estrogen injections intramuscularly (above the butt cheeks) every 3 days and estrogen pills orally every day 3 x daily.

At the first utrasound to check the thickness of my lining, my lining was about 6.4 mm, which was about the same as last time, even with the switch in meds. Continue with the injections and switch from oral pills to vaginally, come back in one week they said.

Next week, I return for another ultrasound and my lining had increased to almost 7mm – better but not yet perfect. I was told to come back a few days later.

When I returned a few days later to see if we can go ahead with the FET, the ultrasound showed some liquid in my uterus, which if it didn’t clear, they would have to cancel the cycle. This time, my lining was a bit thicker so they had me add in progesterone in oil injections (also above the butt cheeks) once a day in the evenings. Thankfully the fluid did clear and we went ahead with the embryo transfer.

Our little embryo was developing so great after being defrosted that it had hatched right before the transfer, ready to implant into my uterus… well that is what should have happened. I can’t help to feel like a living embryo was put into my body, and my body killed it. Fuck!

In times like these, you can’t help but think,” was there something I did wrong?”, “was there something I could have done more?”, “Did we do the injections right?” I don’t know the answers to these questions (although I’m pretty sure the injections were okay since we’ve done many by now), but doubting yourself and putting yourself down is not the answer.

We’re going to have a follow up with our doctor soon, and I’m curious to see what next steps they will recommend. I can tell you for sure it will be a full IVF cycle. What protocol, and when is still yet to be determined. Stay tuned! Can’t wait to share our next steps.

If you’re on this journey right now, I just want to tell you that you are wonderful and strong and don’t ever give up hope. You will be an amazing parent one day!

Thanks for reading my story.

Love,

Ala

 

2 thoughts on “Our 2nd Attempt at Frozen Embryo Transfer”

  1. My lovely Ala and Tom, I’m so sorry my sweethearts you must be so sad hold on to each other through these hard times, but knowing you two the way I do and the love and happiness you give to each other I just know things will turn out right sending our love and prayers for the future auntie Bernie and uncle Barrie xx

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely message Auntie Bernie! You are so wonderful and always so motivating! Thank you for all your love and prayers!
      We love you!!!
      – Ala & Tom xoxoxo

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